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In 2004 LDU was born. It was a great success from the beginning. We never expected so many to listen. We never expected so many to write! This is the text I wrote, when LDU was established in 2004: Lost Daughters United is an organisation who's listening to all daughters with no fathers but with lots of feathers. We are here to stay. In your heart and mind. On the streets and under skies filled with coloured lamps. Our goal is to build a global network existing of so called lost daughters. We want to kill the shame and the taboo which is lying in talking about one's situation as a girl without a father. We have a notion that the shame comes out of a belief that we, the daughters, have a responsibility for the situation; perhaps some of us think that we could have done something or been someone to prevent him from running away. This is wrong. A daughter can never possess the responsibility for the relation between herself and her dad. Without responsibility the shame disappears. Lost daughters tend not to talk about their long gone fathers. Why? Because of shame or renunciation? Because it's hard to admit oneself to others as someone possible to abandon? Most of the time lost daughters only answer with some mumbling when people ask them where daddy is. It's no fun to whisper. And it's no fun taking shit and feeling bad and left and replaceable when there's no real reason to it. On this site we will tell our stories and you can tell us yours. The meaning is that we will unite (with lots of room for all our differences) and, by doing so, together understand ourselves just a tiny bit better. It really shouldn't be a problem talking about the sorrow and the possible problems in finding an identity when you don't know your dad. Let's remove the feelings of responsibility! Let’s hand them back to dad. If you want you can download stickers to decorate your town with. I have this idea with Lost Daughters United, and it might be really naïve, but I believe that we together will be able to form some sort of universe where we are each others proof. Each others proof for our good existence and for our required non-existing part of the responsibility. Together we might be able to remove the shame, back to him. Back to dad. He was the one running away. He was the one hiding. He was the one disappearing. And it actually didn’t have anything to do with me. It didn’t have anything to do with us. Together we might be able to make each other understand that we are not the ones to blame. We are not the ones making mistakes. We couldn’t help being left and lost. And in fact we’re really not lost. We’re not really lost. Lost Daughters United is a global network. We are spreading ourselves out to your town, your own corner. Into your bedroom. It’s not about taking revenge, but about switching positions. It’s about move oneself from the seat down under, to the one a bit more on top. It’s about self-respect. About satisfaction (or at least about getting closer to it). It’s about revealing yourself, fully-fledged to others and being able to talk about your whole identity. And it is about all those things without the elements of self-pitying. It’s not a psychoanalytic movement where we should sit down and cry on each others shoulders. Instead we shape this cool army and we walk down those empty streets and fill them up with stickers. You join. We unite. |
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