Lost Daughters United is a global organisation for daughters, of all ages, without a father; An army of fatherless daughters, who are tired of waiting and longing.

I started the project in 2004, as I felt that there was a big gap between my thoughts and feelings linked to the fact that I've never had a dad (he disappeared from my mum, before I was born – and he never wanted to see me even though I tried for many years). I had experienced how hard it can be to talk about oneself as a rejected daughter and what kind of consequences this situation could have.

I wanted to reach out to other women in the same kind of situation. I felt that there had been some kind of focus on men without a father in their lives, but I hadn't, at the time, ever really seen or heard anything on the topic, concentrating on the daughters, that I could use to strengthen my position. Of course, I had heard the old clichés where women without a father fall in love with their old teachers and try to find a father wherever they turn their head. But I wanted something else:

I wanted to get rid of the feeling of being a victim. I wanted to stop waiting for somebodyÂ’s (his) acceptance. I wanted the courage to speak out loud. I wanted to be able to say: My father left me, he doesn't love me - but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to love me. I deserve the deepest, most profound love and I'm not going to settle down before I get it!

I knew a lot of daughters with bad, or non-existing, relationships to their fathers, and most of them whispered when they talked about it. In fact, we never really talked about it with each other. It was, as if the fathers neglect had transformed into some sort of shame that buried us; the abandoned daughters. I wanted to hand these feelings of responsibility back to the father, back to the parent/s.

Webwise, life was something else in 2004. It was before social medias exploded. You couldn't just start a group on facebook looking for other fatherless daughters.

Lost Daughters United was soon a big success especially in Sweden, where I come from. I made loads of interviews both in newspapers, magazines, national TV and radio. Stories from all over the world began to drop in. There were stories like the one from the 12 year old girl named Rebbii, calling out with lines like: “He hasn't even sent me a postcard when he's been abroad!” and a letter from Helena who was 69 years old, writing to me from Athens: “I cried for hours when I read the stories on your site. I am 69 years old, but I just realized that I still feel ashamed! It's both painful and wrong. Thanks for making this clear to me. I will put stickers all over and join your army. He disappeared but my life is not over yet and I sure know how to love and be loved.”

Ten years have passed. From today on, it's no longer possible to submit stories to Lost Daughters United. The discussion forum is now also closed and buried.

But on this site you can still read old stories. You can watch photographs of stickers decorating streets under skies filled with coloured lamps. You can read the texts and thoughts that the project was built upon and see some of the press notes we took part in.

I hope the site can be used as an archive, a book, some kind of friend – for lost daughters out there. And even though the active part has come to an end, you must never forget that it's never to late to join and unite. You can still download stickers. You can still decorate your town. You can still kill the shame.
You can still scream out load.

Yours sincerely,
Maria Bäck,
Copenhagen - October 2014